{
  "document_metadata": {
    "page_number": "61",
    "document_number": "737",
    "date": "07/22/22",
    "document_type": "court document",
    "has_handwriting": false,
    "has_stamps": false
  },
  "full_text": "Case 1:20-cr-00330-PAE Document 737 Filed 07/22/22 Page 61 of 101 61 M6SQmaxS1\ndistrust yourself. When a boundary is crossed or an expectation violated, you tell yourself, \"Someone who cares about me to do all these nice things surely wouldn't also be trying to harm me.\" This pattern of thinking is insidious, so these seeds of self-doubt took root even as I learned my sister had also been harmed by them and came to find out years later that many others had been exploited.\n\nTHE COURT: Just a request to slow down.\n\nMS. FARMER: For years these memories triggered significant self-recrimination, minimization and guilt. I blame myself for believing these predators actually wanted to help me. I felt tremendous survivor guilt when I heard about what other girls and young women had experienced at hands of Maxwell and Epstein. I saw about how my sister's concern about me weighed on her and felt guilty about this as well.\n\nThis toxic combination of being sexually exposed and exploited, feeling confused and naïve and blaming myself all resulted in significant shame; that sickening feeling that makes you want to disappear. It was not constant but would come in waves, similar to the waves that anxiety would also show up. When I think back, I see a slide-show of moments when these feelings would surface and overwhelm me. There are too many of these moments to name and though I have come a long way in my path of healing, I know that these feelings will continue to be triggered at times.\n\nSOUTHERN DISTRICT REPORTERS, P.C.\n(212) 805-0300 DOJ-OGR-00011580",
  "text_blocks": [
    {
      "type": "printed",
      "content": "Case 1:20-cr-00330-PAE Document 737 Filed 07/22/22 Page 61 of 101 61 M6SQmaxS1",
      "position": "header"
    },
    {
      "type": "printed",
      "content": "distrust yourself. When a boundary is crossed or an expectation violated, you tell yourself, \"Someone who cares about me to do all these nice things surely wouldn't also be trying to harm me.\" This pattern of thinking is insidious, so these seeds of self-doubt took root even as I learned my sister had also been harmed by them and came to find out years later that many others had been exploited.\n\nTHE COURT: Just a request to slow down.\n\nMS. FARMER: For years these memories triggered significant self-recrimination, minimization and guilt. I blame myself for believing these predators actually wanted to help me. I felt tremendous survivor guilt when I heard about what other girls and young women had experienced at hands of Maxwell and Epstein. I saw about how my sister's concern about me weighed on her and felt guilty about this as well.\n\nThis toxic combination of being sexually exposed and exploited, feeling confused and naïve and blaming myself all resulted in significant shame; that sickening feeling that makes you want to disappear. It was not constant but would come in waves, similar to the waves that anxiety would also show up. When I think back, I see a slide-show of moments when these feelings would surface and overwhelm me. There are too many of these moments to name and though I have come a long way in my path of healing, I know that these feelings will continue to be triggered at times.",
      "position": "main content"
    },
    {
      "type": "printed",
      "content": "SOUTHERN DISTRICT REPORTERS, P.C.\n(212) 805-0300 DOJ-OGR-00011580",
      "position": "footer"
    }
  ],
  "entities": {
    "people": [
      "Maxwell",
      "Epstein",
      "MS. FARMER"
    ],
    "organizations": [
      "SOUTHERN DISTRICT REPORTERS, P.C."
    ],
    "locations": [],
    "dates": [
      "07/22/22"
    ],
    "reference_numbers": [
      "1:20-cr-00330-PAE",
      "737",
      "DOJ-OGR-00011580"
    ]
  },
  "additional_notes": "The document appears to be a court transcript with a victim impact statement. The text is mostly printed, with some formatting indicating a conversation between 'THE COURT' and 'MS. FARMER'. The document includes a footer with contact information for 'SOUTHERN DISTRICT REPORTERS, P.C.' and a reference number 'DOJ-OGR-00011580'."
}